Men's Mental Health: A Stigma

In today's time, we live in a society that creates stereotypes surrounding genders, specifically, masculinity and femininity. One of the biggest ones is that men don’t cry and are emotionless. This has led to sayings such as: “Be a man!” to emerge. This means to toughen up and to not show weakness, like men are supposed according to societal norms. Something as simple as a saying has made it extremely hard for men to express themselves. No one really talks about the stigma that has been created around men and their emotions. The stigma around men's mental health creates toxic masculinity, causes more men to bottle their emotions, and can lead to substance abuse which is directly linked to an influx in suicide rates amongst men.

Toxic masculinity is the pressure men feel that they have to be “tough, antifeminist and show power at all times to be a man” (Morin). The drive to be masculine and manly begins at birth for boys since they are raised to play with superheroes and become a protector. However, as it says in its name, it's toxic because it not only causes people to view femininity as lesser than it also aids in men dealing with intense mental health issues. The main factors being, as stated previously, how you were raised, along with the people around you and society: “Boys learn to be men from the men in their lives, from their own experiences navigating our social norms, and from the large social and cultural context” (American Psychological Association). This stigma causes males to feel that they need to show toughness in different ways. Some try to show they are tough by being abnormally strong, or even disregarding emotions and being aggressive towards others. The reasoning behind this can be explained in a multitude of ways and it is paramount that we understand that: “Masculine ideals, such as the restriction of emotional expression and the pressure to conform to expectations of dominance and aggression, may heighten the potential for boys to engage in general acts of violence including, but not limited to, bullying, assault, and/or physical and verbal aggression (Feder, Levant, & Dean).” (American Psychological Association). Another issue this causes is how men interact with others on not only a physical level but also an emotional one: “Narrow and stereotypical norms of masculinity constrain men’s physical and emotional health, their relations with women, their parenting of children, and their relations with other men” (Flood). It doesn’t only affect the person struggling to overcome these issues but everyone around them as well. Those around them attempt to get the man to speak up about their issue but due to society they feel it is best to keep quiet and suffer alone so they keep their emotions to themselves.

Men not being able to express themselves causes them to bottle up their emotions and is a serious issue. This can be extremely harmful because it can lead to depression or even suicide. As it currently stands men are much more successful at suicide than women are: “In 2019, men died by suicide 3.63x more often than women” (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention). Males feel they can’t be vulnerable and say what they need to because they will be less of a man if they do: “Over time, such behavior can lead to a dysfunctional emotional expression and ultimately, depression” (Montero). Depression can cause suicidal thoughts, irritability, make you extremely sad or angry, and much more: “White males accounted for 69.38% of suicide deaths in 2019” (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention). If society were more open to letting men be human, lives could be saved and change can begin to transpire. In order to achieve this necessary feat we must help men learn to express themselves and in turn, we mustn’t judge them for having emotions and being as humane as all of us.

The majority of men don’t know how to express their feelings without being fearful of being judged. Men tend to find themselves drinking, smoking or doing drugs to cope by dint of society's negative stigma surrounding their mental health. When males can’t find an adequate way of handling their emotions, they are more likely to start drinking and doing drugs because it has become socially acceptable: “Men are more likely to use substances, at greater quantities, and are two to five times more likely than women to develop a substance use disorder (SAMHSA). Heavy drinking and binge drinking are more prevalent in men (National Institute on Drug Abuse).” (Farley). Society unintentionally encourages this behavior, because it's viewed to be manly if you can drink a lot. If you are a heavyweight you are deemed as cool and one of “the boys'' but if you’re a lightweight then you’re merely a little girl and frowned upon by other men. Drinking and substance abuse can lead to death or life with an addiction. Alcohol is known to be a depressant which means if a man is depressed and turns to alcohol he is then more likely to commit suicide because of it rather than seek help: “Among those who are alcohol dependent, 18% complete suicide. Alcohol plays a major role in suicides among elders and veterans. In suicides associated with alcohol misuse men account for 80% of the victims, women for 20%. Alcohol use is also often a factor in suicidal behavior among male teens” (MCES, 2010). If men were able to express themselves freely, this wouldn’t be the case as they would be consoled not shunned. In the movie A Star is Born, Jackson Maine is a famous rockstar that has a drug and alcohol problem. He proceeds to fall in love with a girl named Ally however, by virtue of the trauma he never dealt with before he can’t be happy and still resorts to drugs and alcohol. (Flint, 2018). Although this isn’t based on a true story, it’s a way of showing that men struggle mentally but can’t get help because they're a rockstar or overall just a man. This portrayal of men dealing with substance abuse shined light on the issue and made society come to a realization of sorts.

Although society plays a huge role in creating this stigma around men and their mental health, it's surely up to the person to get help. As the saying goes “If they wanted to they would” this applies to those dealing with mental health issues as well. If a person truly wanted to seek help they would, rather than keeping it to themselves: “Force only drives people away from treatment” (National Empowerment Center). The previous statement was said by someone who has been through the mental health institute process before. It has to be solely up to the person to make that decision for themselves. It can be said that it’s up to the person to get the help they need; however, society needs to be more open about men expressing their feelings. Men feel embarrassed to receive the help they need so they prefer to ust hide instead. By allowing men to cry and talk about how they feel deep down inside this can lead to more men being open to seeking help on their own accord rather than being forced to do something they aren’t ready to do. Once society changes its views and actions men can be heard and be saved as well.

Denouement, everyone has feelings and they should be free to express themselves however they see fit. Society needs to be more open minded in regards to mental health because it is just as important as physical health, if not even more important. Men, specifically, should be able to express how they feel, and even cry without feeling judged. By implementing this into our daily lives men will no longer grow up with a toxic mindset surrounding masculinity and femininity. Being open minded can also lead to lower suicde rates amongst men in general because they will no longer feel the need to bottle up their emotions. Allowing men to be human and show how they feel when they feel it will also cause men to be less dependent on depressants such as alcohol and substances such as drugs. They can finally own up to their mental health and choose to seek the help they require and live happier and healthier lives in the long run. One small change can cause a world of happiness and save countless lives. We can do it, we must do it.